MY STORY: THE KILLING OF SOUL

MY STORY: THE KILLING OF SOUL.

Coercive Manipulation in the Digital Age: How Cyclical Abuse, Substance Pressure, Technological Exploitation, and Identity-Based Coercion Create Invisible Victims

Public Awareness & Clinical Guidance, Grounded in Survivor Testimony

Personal Narrative Statement: Why I’m Writing This

I am writing this paper because I have lived through a form of coercive manipulation, technological harassment, and identity-based abuse that is invisible to most, yet devastatingly real. Over the years, I have documented incidents across multiple agencies—mental health providers, medical staff, legal authorities, and law enforcement. I have brought evidence, provided detailed testimony, and explained patterns repeatedly. Time and again, my reports have been confirmed as external in origin, corroborated by multiple sources, and acknowledged by professionals.

Yet despite this confirmation, no one has intervened to stop the abuse or provide meaningful protection. The cycles of coercion, manipulation, technological interference, and identity-based attacks continue to this day. The lack of action has left me exposed, vulnerable, and traumatized in ways that are difficult to convey. I have been forced to navigate fear, self-isolation, and constant surveillance while systems designed to protect me have remained silent or ineffective.

I write this to raise awareness. I write this so that others may recognize these tactics before it is too late. I write this so that professionals—clinicians, legal advocates, and authorities—can understand that this is real, verifiable, externally imposed, and ongoing—not imagined or exaggerated.

This document is a record of lived experience, ongoing observation, and survivor testimony. It is a call to recognize the complexity of modern coercion, digital abuse, and identity-based harassment, and to create systems that can actually respond, protect, and prevent further harm.

I. The Core Behavioral Cycle: Psychology, Pressure, Compliance, and Punishment

Survivors frequently describe a repetitive cycle of coercion characterized by intense psychological manipulation, which fuels predictable behaviors of pressure, compliance, and punishment. From a psychiatric and mental health perspective, this cycle aligns with established concepts in trauma psychology, such as coercive control (as defined by sociologist Evan Stark in his seminal work "Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life," 2007), where abusers systematically undermine autonomy through isolation, intimidation, and surveillance. This can lead to complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), characterized in the DSM-5 (American Psychiatric Association, 2013) by symptoms like emotional dysregulation, distorted self-perception, and interpersonal difficulties. Scientifically, neuroimaging studies (e.g., those using fMRI) show that repeated exposure to such cycles alters brain regions like the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, heightening fear responses and impairing decision-making, making victims more susceptible to further manipulation.

The Psychology of the Perpetrator

Individuals who engage in this type of coercive manipulation share consistent traits, even if they come from different backgrounds. They are often opportunistic rather than inherently intelligent, and they know how to find vulnerability, weaponize fear, and manipulate people against themselves.

Common traits include:

Predatory, yet superficially charming

Socially strategic, seeking people they can influence or isolate

Deeply insecure, hiding behind intimidation and group pressure

Comfortable with deception, including lying without hesitation

Motivated by power, control, and compliance, not genuine connection

Reinforced by the thrill of manipulating someone’s reality

Psychiatrically, these traits often overlap with cluster B personality disorders in the DSM-5, such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), where individuals exhibit grandiosity, lack of empathy, and exploitative behaviors. Research from the Journal of Personality Disorders (e.g., Ronningstam, 2016) indicates that such perpetrators derive reinforcement from dopamine-driven rewards in the brain's mesolimbic pathway, similar to addiction, fueling their need for control. This is not to pathologize all abusers but to highlight how these traits enable systematic harm, often evading detection by presenting as "normal" or even "helpful" to outsiders.

The manipulation cycle typically follows these steps:

Identify a weakness (emotional need, loneliness, trauma, desire for belonging).

Exploit it through pressure, guilt, love-bombing, or intimidation.

Weaponize past trauma, sexual assaults, or deeply harmful experiences to induce guilt, shame, and dependency.

Reframe deeply harmful experiences as “self-inflicted,” “wanted,” or indicative of a person's “true identity,” forcing the victim to question their own reality and memory.

Reward compliance with temporary peace or affection.

Punish resistance through threats, social manipulation, or digital interference.

Break the victim down until they question their own reality.

Isolate them from anyone who might help.

Control the narrative so outsiders perceive the abuser as the victim or hero.

This is intentional conditioning, not accidental behavior. In mental health terms, this mirrors operant conditioning principles from behavioral psychology (Skinner, 1938), where intermittent reinforcement (e.g., sporadic affection) creates stronger bonds than consistent rewards, leading to trauma bonding—a phenomenon documented in studies on domestic violence (Dutton & Painter, 1993), where victims develop attachment to abusers due to alternating fear and relief, often resulting in Stockholm syndrome-like responses.

Pressure to Use Substances and Compliance Dynamics

The cycle often begins with escalating pressure toward substance use, framed as bonding, “loosening up,” access to a social group, or tests of trust. Compliance temporarily reduces pressure, creating short windows of apparent safety. This push-pause dynamic mirrors addiction grooming, cult conditioning, and trauma bonding.

Resistance often triggers:

Withdrawal of affection or attention

Social isolation

Ridicule or shaming

Threats of abandonment

Escalation, including character assassination, threats of exposure, or orchestrated humiliation.

From a psychiatric viewpoint, this substance pressure exploits neurobiological vulnerabilities; substances like alcohol or illicit drugs can dysregulate the brain's reward system (involving dopamine and serotonin), as per addiction neuroscience (Volkow et al., 2016, in Nature Reviews Neuroscience). This can exacerbate mental health conditions like anxiety or depression, mimicking or worsening substance use disorders (SUDs) in the DSM-5. Clinically, survivors may present with dual diagnoses (e.g., PTSD and SUD), requiring integrated treatment models like Seeking Safety (Najavits, 2002), which address trauma and addiction simultaneously. Research from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) shows that coerced substance use in abusive contexts increases relapse risks and complicates recovery, as it ties substance use to survival mechanisms rather than volition.

Identity-Based Coercion, Spiritual Abuse, and Weaponization of Systemic Failure

These abusive actions are compounded by targeted attacks on the victim's core identity, utilizing sophisticated psychological and spiritual leverage.

Tactics of Identity and Sexual Coercion:

Attacking and Rewriting Identity: Coercive behavior aimed at attacking one’s sexuality and attempting to narrate a false sexual identity onto the victim.

Imposed Normative Narrative: Pushing a Judeo-Christian agenda of guilt, shame, and sexual shame, often claiming that true happiness and self-acceptance can only be achieved through acceptance and adherence to a particular Judeo-Christian faith, and adherence to a heterosexual, normative narrative.

Spiritual Manipulation: Employing multi-day Christian myths or spiritual teachings to psychologically manipulate and coerce belief in "truths as they see them" and "God’s plan of man and woman."

Weaponizing Past Disregard: Using the historical disregard by law enforcement, prosecutors, or medical authorities for past sexual assaults—particularly those of a homosexual nature—to reinforce the perpetrator's power, intimidate the victim, and dismiss or discredit the current harm being caused because it does not align with the perpetrator's interpretation or moral-spiritual compass.

These actions are not spiritual guidance—they are abusive, illegal attacks against civil rights, personal autonomy, and identity.

Psychiatrically, identity-based coercion can lead to identity diffusion or internalized stigma, as per Erikson's psychosocial stages (1950), and is linked to higher rates of suicidal ideation in LGBTQ+ survivors (Marshal et al., 2011, in Journal of Adolescent Health). Spiritual abuse, recognized in the International Journal of Psychology of Religion (e.g., Ward, 2011), compounds trauma by eroding existential meaning, often resulting in religious trauma syndrome (RTS), with symptoms like existential anxiety and loss of faith community, akin to C-PTSD. Weaponizing systemic failures exploits institutional betrayal (Smith & Freyd, 2013), where trusted systems fail victims, amplifying betrayal trauma and reducing help-seeking behaviors.

The Real-Time Manifestation of Tactics

Externally, this abuse may appear as:

Relationship difficulties

Emotional instability

Paranoia

Substance experimentation

Forgetfulness or withdrawal

Sleep disturbances

Random crises

Internally, survivors experience:

Constant pressure to use substances

Sudden shifts between warmth and hostility

Intrusive involvement of outside “friends” or “helpers”

Tampered devices or missing messages

Mirrored phones and strange logins

Forced narratives creating guilt for actions I did not commit

Past traumas weaponized against me for guilt or control

Threats disguised as jokes

Spiritual or religious shame leveraged for control

Sleep intentionally disrupted

A pervasive sense of being watched

Technology-specific manipulation includes:

Unauthorized phone and device access

App mirroring and remote login

Hacking of Bluetooth-connected devices, including smart TVs, cameras, and speakers

Audio projection or listening through smart devices

Password resets and shared-account manipulation

Tracking via location services

Digital manipulation designed to enforce compliance and destabilize

Clinically, these manifestations can mimic psychotic disorders (e.g., delusions of persecution in DSM-5 schizophrenia spectrum), but trauma-informed assessments (e.g., using the Clinician-Administered PTSD Scale, CAPS-5) differentiate them as grounded in verifiable external threats, not endogenous psychosis. Studies on technology-facilitated intimate partner violence (TF-IPV) from the Australian eSafety Commissioner (2020) show that such tactics affect 1 in 4 survivors, leading to hyperarousal and avoidance symptoms in PTSD.

II. Coordinated and Digital Exploitation

The Use of External Actors (“Flying Monkeys”)

Abuse frequently relies on secondary participants, knowingly complicit or manipulated themselves, who act as:

Enforcers

Messengers of threats or rumors

Social surveillance agents

Triangulators

In organized coercion, these external actors may include acquaintances, former partners, social group members, or opportunistic individuals involved in illicit activities. For the survivor, this multiplies stress and magnifies the sense of omnipresence.

The term "flying monkeys" originates from narcissistic abuse literature (e.g., Andersen, 2019, in "The Wizard of Oz" metaphor), where enablers amplify abuse. Psychologically, this creates a diffusion of responsibility among perpetrators, reducing individual guilt, and for victims, it induces learned helplessness (Seligman, 1975), a core feature in depression and PTSD models.

Digital Exploitation: Advanced Methods

Technology-enabled abuse increasingly includes:

Unauthorized phone access

App mirroring

Password resets

Tracking via shared accounts

Manipulation of location services

Hacking into Bluetooth TVs, cameras, and other connected devices

Audio projection or surveillance through smart devices

Even basic spyware or clone-account tactics can produce profound destabilization, loss of privacy, and fear of constant observation.

Research from the Journal of Interpersonal Violence (Woodlock, 2017) highlights how digital tools enable "omnipresent" control, correlating with increased cortisol levels (chronic stress hormone) and somatic symptoms like insomnia or gastrointestinal issues. In psychiatry, this can manifest as somatic symptom disorder or exacerbate existing conditions, requiring digital detox protocols in treatment plans.

III. Case Illustration: Real-Life Manifestation of Coordinated Coercion

The following first-person testimony highlights how these tactics manifest both in the primary victim (survivor) and in a closely connected partner (ex-husband), underscoring the need for professionals to recognize coerced behaviors versus intentional malice.

First-Person Testimony: Living Under Siege

“This Is What It Feels Like: A First-Person Account of Coercive Manipulation, Digital Exploitation, and Systemic Abandonment”

This has been my reality for a long time now.

I have lived through:

Ongoing cycles of coercion, often involving substances

Periods of calm followed by explosive retaliation for noncompliance

External actors entering situations with knowledge they should not have

My phone behaving in inexplicable ways

Messages appearing or disappearing

Strange logins

Accounts mirrored or tampered

Forced narratives creating guilt for actions I did not commit

Past traumas weaponized against me for guilt or control

Being told, implicitly or explicitly, that I was watched

Religion and sexuality weaponized against me

Sleep intentionally disrupted

Self-Isolation as Preservation, Not Pathology

Due to ongoing harassment and coercion, public spaces are unsafe. Behaviors that may be labeled clinically as agoraphobia or social withdrawal are, in fact, self-preservation mechanisms. My medical team has recognized elevated diagnoses of agoraphobia but has acknowledged uncertainty about effective interventions beyond documentation.

The things that I find strikingly weird are the behaviorist listed in here. I exhibit some of these: I am more emotional, I'm more quick to snap at people, to lash out when they are trying to push me into the public because self-isolation actually feels safer than being with people that I can't identify who are using technology to harass me. This has created self-isolation for preservation. My medical team is aware of this and elevated some of my mental health diagnoses to agoraphobia and have even made statements they don't know what to do outside of the reports that they have made.

In psychiatric terms, agoraphobia (DSM-5) often co-occurs with panic disorder, but in abuse contexts, it's adaptive avoidance rooted in real danger, not irrational fear. Trauma therapy like EMDR (Shapiro, 2018) can reprocess these fears, but only if the external threat is addressed first.

Coercion of a Loved One: The Secondary Victim

Family members, particularly spouses, can be coerced into abusive dynamics. Behavior that may appear erratic or cruel often reflects external pressure rather than intentional harm.

One of the most painful parts of this nightmare is the coercion of family members, such as a spouse, into the abusive dynamic. The behavior observed is often not intentional cruelty, but rather the visible manifestation of a person under threat.

Observations of my husband’s behavior:

Contradictory verbal and nonverbal communication

Sudden mood shifts and emotional dysregulation

Withdrawal of affection followed by guilt or closeness

Strange alliances with people who did not have his best interests at heart

Awareness of being watched and controlled

The erratic behavior. The secrecy. The fear in his eyes. The sudden shifts in mood. The withdrawal of affection, then the sudden floods of guilt or closeness. The insistence that certain people were “just trying to help.” The pressure around substances. The strange alliances with people who did not have his best interests at heart. The sense that he was being watched and managed just as I was.

From my perspective, his behavior does not align with cruelty or intentional harm—not at its core. It looks like a person under threat, a person being used, a person being controlled by people who knew exactly what they were doing.

It looks like he, too, was: pressured, isolated, manipulated, emotionally hijacked, coerced into being part of something he did not understand, and punished if he did not comply.

I saw a man who loved me being slowly broken down and turned into a tool for the very people who were hurting both of us. That is not the behavior of a perpetrator. That is the behavior of someone trapped.

His behaviors mirror coercion patterns rather than intentional malice. He was trapped, pressured, isolated, and emotionally hijacked, struggling to protect me while unable to extricate himself.

Clinically, secondary victims like partners may exhibit vicarious trauma or secondary traumatic stress (Figley, 1995), with symptoms like hypervigilance and emotional numbing, often misdiagnosed as personality disorders. Family systems therapy (e.g., Bowen, 1978) can help disentangle these dynamics.

Behavioral Manifestations Observed in the Partner

Behaviors include:

Constant device checking

Safety planning

Hyper-vigilance

Reactive emotional patterns

The behaviors described in coercive control literature—constant device checking, safety planning, hyper-vigilance, and reactive emotional patterns—were exactly what my husband, whom I loved beyond all things, was exhibiting that were sparking anxiety in me while I was undergoing harassment.

The exact things listed in here about clinging to the phone, constantly in contact with others in different ways, setting up safety escapes—which were not making sense to me because I was in fear—align with this coercion. Jeffrey even said, and this was expressed, that if I wasn't around, his harassment stopped or he didn't feel threatened. When Jeffrey and I were not in the same environment, his harassment stopped; mine did not.

His behavior included contradictory verbal and nonverbal communication, emotional dysregulation under extreme stress, and difficulty extricating himself from coercive situations. After his arrest, his statement, "I couldn't get myself out of it," was not how he would refer to a substance; it was a clear reference to a situation or dynamic.

Testimony from other friends confirms that he acted out of fear and confusion, not malice, and was deeply concerned for my safety, even when he could not intervene effectively. The behaviors Jeffrey was exhibiting were not normal behaviors even within our past conflicts of relationship, but they align perfectly to patterns of coercion. This reinforces that coerced behavior is distinct from abuse. Even loving, rational individuals may behave unusually when under coercion.

Statements such as “I couldn’t get myself out of it” refer to coercive dynamics, not substances. Testimony from friends confirms fear and confusion, not malice. Coerced behavior is distinct from abuse—even loving, rational individuals behave unusually under external pressure.

IV. Psychological Conditioning and Destabilization Tactics

Forced Narrative Insertion & Manufactured Guilt

Manipulators impose invented truths or interpretations to confuse identity, induce guilt, and create dependency. This includes reframing past assaults as self-inflicted or desired to break the victim's sense of reality. Survivors experience:

Contradictory messages

Emotional exhaustion

Self-doubt

This is akin to cult indoctrination and psychological conditioning.

One of the less understood—but highly damaging—forms of coercion is forced narrative insertion. Survivors describe experiences where manipulators repeatedly impose interpretations, accusations, or invented “truths” intended to confuse identity, create false guilt, install self-blame for the abuser’s actions, and build dependency on the abuser’s version of reality. This tactic, often seen in cult indoctrination and psychological conditioning, works by overwhelming the survivor with contradictory messages, encouraging self-doubt, and creating emotional exhaustion.

Psychologically, this is gaslighting (Stern, 2007), which erodes epistemic trust and can lead to depersonalization-derealization disorder (DSM-5). Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, like reality-testing exercises, are evidence-based for countering this (Beck, 2011).

Religious and Identity Manipulation as a Tool of Control

Abusers weaponize spiritual or religious authority to:

Invoke guilt or shame, specifically sexual and identity shame.

Present themselves as moral arbiters.

Justify abuse as “correction.”

Enforce a specific heteronormative or theological worldview.

Isolate survivors from support systems who do not share their extremist views.

This spiritual and identity abuse is recognized in clinical literature as increasing trauma complexity and constitutes a violation of personal and civil rights.

Abusers weaponize religious language to invoke guilt or shame, present themselves as moral authorities, frame the survivor as spiritually “wrong” or “impure,” justify abuse as “correction,” and isolate the survivor from support systems. Clinically, this is known as spiritual abuse, a subset of coercive control associated with increased trauma complexity.

Sleep Disruption, Environmental Instability & Psychological Breakdown

Tactics include:

Erratic waking

Noise disturbances

Interference with safe environments, often using hacked smart devices.

Unpredictable appearances or communications

Sleep disruption erodes immune function, emotional regulation, and cognitive clarity, making survivors more vulnerable.

Intentional destabilization often involves waking the victim at erratic times, creating noise disturbances, interfering with safe living environments, and unpredictable appearances or communications. These tactics erode immune function, emotional regulation, and cognitive clarity, increasing a survivor’s vulnerability to manipulation. Sleep disruption is a recognized torture method.

Scientifically, chronic sleep deprivation impairs hippocampal function (Yoo et al., 2007, in Nature Neuroscience), leading to memory consolidation issues and heightened PTSD risk. Mental health interventions like cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) are crucial, but must be paired with safety measures.

V. The Role of Systems: Reporting, Documentation, and Professional Response

Systemic Failure: The Impact of Non-Intervention

Survivors often report to multiple authorities yet face:

Disbelief

Minimization

Dismissal as “stress” or “paranoia”

Siloed systems failing to communicate

Reinforcement of past systemic disregard, especially concerning identity-based assaults.

The result is compounded trauma and exposure to ongoing harm.

Many survivors do everything “correctly”: they report to mental health professionals, involve law enforcement, contact legal counsel, seek medical care, and provide evidence. Yet, they often encounter disbelief, minimization, dismissal as “stress” or “paranoia,” and siloed systems failing to communicate. This compounds the trauma and leaves survivors exposed to ongoing harm.

The Systemic Failure: I Have Asked for Help Again and Again

I have told people. I have documented everything. I have reported. I have brought evidence. I have explained the patterns. I have been consistent. I have asked for help.

Law enforcement has case information. Mental health professionals have charts and notes. Legal representatives have seen the records. Hospitals have documented incidents.

But no one has taken action. No one has intervened. No one has stepped in to stop what is happening.

The standard response has been: silence, confusion, dismissal, “We’re not sure what to do,” “This is outside our scope,” “We can look into it,” or simply nothing at all.

This is what it feels like when a system—a system that knows the signs of coercive control, a system trained to help, a system built to protect—does not want to get involved.

And the result is devastating: I feel invisible. I feel abandoned. I feel unprotected. I feel as though the people who hurt me know they can continue doing it because no one will stop them.

Psychiatrically, this institutional betrayal exacerbates attachment wounds and can lead to iatrogenic harm, where help-seeking worsens trauma (Freyd & Birrell, 2013).

Professional Mandate and Evaluation Methods

Professionals must recognize:

Digital coercion

Stalking patterns mimicking psychosis

Differences between trauma-based hypervigilance and delusional disorders

The impact of weaponized identity and historical systemic bias on credibility.

Professionals must be trained to recognize digital coercion, stalking patterns that mimic psychosis, and the difference between trauma-based hypervigilance and true delusional disorders.

Evaluation methods include:

Pattern Mapping – Sequence events over time; identify cycles of pressure/compliance/punishment, third-party involvement, and synchronization of digital interference with emotional pressure.

Digital Forensics Screening – Assess unusual device behavior, logins, password changes, identity fraud, or message tampering; investigate Bluetooth device hacking and audio projection; preserve data for expert review.

Trauma-Informed Differentials – Differentiate fear grounded in real threats from delusional thought; understand the victim's reality is being actively, externally manipulated.

Methods of Evaluation in Complex Coercion Cases:

Pattern Mapping: Instead of evaluating isolated incidents, professionals must map the sequence of events over time, looking for the cycles of pressure/compliance/punishment, the involvement of third parties, and the synchronization of technological interference with emotional pressure.

Digital Forensics Screening: Include questions about unusual device behavior, unexplained logins, abrupt password changes, identity fraud, and strange messages appearing or disappearing. In legal and forensic settings, data preservation and expert review of devices (if possible) are critical, as the technical nature of the abuse requires specialized methods beyond standard clinical intake.

Trauma-Informed Differentials: The clinical indicators of organized manipulation often look like anxiety or dissociation. Clinicians should use tools that differentiate true delusional thought from fear grounded in real-world, albeit complex, threats (e.g., assessing the source of the fear versus its content).

Key Takeaways for Clinicians, Legal Advocates & Law Enforcement

Recognize the Pattern: Coercive control is not a single act—it is a system of tactics used in combination.

Coerced Behavior is Distinct: Reactivity, secrecy, or odd patterns in partners may reflect external pressure, not malice. Coordinated abuse can create multiple simultaneous victims.

Adopt a believe-first, evaluate-second approach.

Document Thoroughly: Even when claims seem complex, proper documentation protects both the client and the professional.

Coordinate Care: Mental health, legal, and medical systems must share relevant information (with consent) to identify larger patterns.

Screen for Digital Abuse, Spiritual Trauma, and Identity Coercion: Treat these subsets of coercion with the same rigor as physical or financial abuse, recognizing they are often illegal attacks on personal autonomy.

Believe First, Evaluate Second: Trauma-informed practice requires a posture of non-judgemental listening before clinical assessment.

VI. A Call for Awareness, Reform & Survivor-Centered Support

We live in a world where psychological manipulation, digital interference, and coercive control can occur quietly, invisibly, and across multiple platforms. Survivors often face disbelief even after reporting to multiple authorities.

Why I’m Speaking Now

I am speaking because silence is the soil that this kind of abuse grows in.

I am speaking because there are likely others living through the same kind of manipulation, the same psychological warfare, the same digital interference, the same cycles of pressure and punishment.

I am speaking because professionals need to understand that this is real, it is happening now, and often hides in plain sight.

I am speaking because I am still here, still fighting the constant reality of this harassment, still asking for someone to see what is happening and do something about it.

I am speaking because the world needs to understand that coercive control in the digital age does not look like the models they were trained on.

And I am speaking because I deserve safety. I deserve justice. I deserve to be believed. I deserve to be protected.

Every survivor does.

Raising public awareness, training professionals, and integrating digital-forensic literacy into mental health and legal practice are essential. Survivors deserve systems that understand the complexity of modern abuse and can intervene effectively.

Final Statement on Perpetrators

Individuals who inflict these calculated and heinous acts are dangerous predators. Any person who would consider using these means—these tactics taking modern technology as a mode of destabilization, coercive behavior, and control—not only dehumanizes but suffocates the soul. They take away free agency; they take away life. These are the most vile predators and deserve the full weight and execution of justice. They must be held accountable because they operate under the dangerous self-justification that they have the right to do this to another human being. This is a premeditated, pre-planned crime.

Closing Personal Statement

It is profoundly sad and disappointing to live in an age where so many resources and capabilities exist—technological advancements, institutional frameworks, psychiatric knowledge, and mental health support systems that could intervene decisively—yet individuals under attack are dismissed, silenced, or ignored. People take these possibilities for granted, assuming systems will protect the vulnerable, but when a person becomes under attack, gossip, distorted narratives, and systemic inaction often outweigh the reality that people are going through and the manipulations that are being used to control them. Instead of offering help—through protective action, criminal accountability, or medical supervision—systems too often participate in or tacitly enable active coercive plans to silence or destroy victims. When not perpetrated directly by leaders, this occurs through their inability, inattention, or lack of care to seek real resolution for victims. The stakes are real. The harm is real, and it persists. And the survivors deserve recognition, protection, and justice.

Resignation: The True Value of Me

Wednesday, November 26, 2025

I’m tired.

Tired of being valued only when convenient and devalued when it matters.

Tired of being treated like a ping-pong ball between people who never intended to stay.

Tired of pretending that any of this was ever about love, or loyalty, or basic human decency.

I finally see the truth.

Not the comforting lie I kept trying to believe — but the truth that’s been beating me down for years.

No one ever showed me real intimacy.

No one ever showed genuine care.

What I got instead was manipulation, coercion, harassment, and a long, coordinated lesson designed to break me. And it worked. They didn’t just crush my soul — they obliterated it. They wiped out any remaining belief that I had value, purpose, meaning, or anything in me worth holding, loving, or staying for.

Thank you, Pocatello.

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you, Idaho.

Thank you, Portneuf.

Thank you to every single person who didn’t show up, who made sure I understood exactly what I was worth.

Thank you for teaching me what I refused to accept:

that I meant nothing,

to anyone,

ever.

I’m done.

I give up.

I resign from trying to participate in a life where my existence has been treated like an inconvenience or a burden.

From here on, I choose isolation — not because I prefer it, but because at least in solitude, no one lies to me, no one uses me, and no one pretends. No one gets close just to disappear. No one keeps abusing me for their own ends.

At least alone, the pain is honest.

So yes.

Forget me.

I’m worth forgetting.

And I’m done fighting for a place in a world that made it abundantly clear:

there was never one for me.

This is the end of that chapter.

I close it myself.

Dustin Irish-webb 

Sciences Behind Technology-Facilitated Stalking

Technology-facilitated stalking (TFS) involves the use of digital tools—such as spyware, GPS tracking, social media monitoring, app mirroring, or hacked devices—to surveil, harass, or control victims. Scientifically, this form of abuse leverages advancements in information technology, cybersecurity vulnerabilities, and data analytics. For instance, tools like stalkerware (malicious software disguised as parental controls) exploit device permissions to access location data, messages, and camera feeds in real-time. Research highlights how Bluetooth-enabled devices (e.g., smart TVs, speakers) can be hijacked via proximity-based protocols, allowing audio projection or eavesdropping without physical access.

Neurobiologically, chronic exposure to such surveillance elevates cortisol levels, disrupting the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and leading to somatic symptoms like insomnia or immune suppression.

Studies using fMRI show that persistent digital threats alter brain regions like the amygdala (heightening fear) and prefrontal cortex (impairing decision-making), similar to physical stalking but amplified by the omnipresence of tech.

From a behavioral science perspective, TFS exploits operant conditioning: perpetrators intermittently reward compliance (e.g., reduced monitoring) to foster dependency, mirroring addiction grooming.

 Data from cybersecurity analyses indicate that basic exploits, like password resets or shared-account manipulation, can destabilize victims by creating a sense of constant observation, leading to environmental instability and cognitive fragmentation.

Psychology Behind Technology-Facilitated Stalking

Psychologically, TFS is rooted in coercive control, where perpetrators—often exhibiting traits of narcissistic or antisocial personality disorders—seek power through digital means.

Victims experience trauma bonding, a Stockholm syndrome-like attachment due to alternating fear and relief, which can manifest as complex PTSD (C-PTSD) with symptoms like hypervigilance, dissociation, and self-doubt.

Gaslighting via forced narratives (e.g., reframing victim experiences) induces manufactured guilt, eroding identity and reality-testing, akin to cult indoctrination.

Clinical studies show TFS victims report severe distress: anxiety, depression, and agoraphobia as self-preservation mechanisms against perceived omnipresent threats.

Identity-based coercion, such as weaponizing religious shame or sexuality, compounds trauma, leading to religious trauma syndrome (RTS) or internalized stigma, with higher suicidal ideation risks in marginalized groups.

Secondary victims (e.g., coerced partners) display vicarious trauma, with hypervigilance and emotional dysregulation mistaken for malice.

Technology-Facilitated Stalking Laws in the US

All 50 US states and territories have laws criminalizing stalking, with most explicitly addressing tech-facilitated forms (e.g., via electronic communications or surveillance devices).

Federally, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) amendments include cyberstalking under 18 U.S.C. § 2261A, prohibiting interstate use of tech to harass, intimidate, or cause substantial emotional distress, with penalties up to 10 years imprisonment.

The Interstate Communications Act (18 U.S.C. § 875) covers threats via digital means, while the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act (CFAA, 18 U.S.C. § 1030) addresses unauthorized device access.

 Some states (e.g., California Penal Code § 646.9) allow civil suits for damages and attorney fees in TFS cases.

 Victims can seek protection orders under state domestic violence laws, often including provisions to remove tracking software.

 Enforcement challenges include proving intent and digital evidence preservation.

Clinical References

Woodlock (2017), Journal of Interpersonal Violence: Examines TFS in intimate partner violence, linking it to elevated stress hormones and PTSD symptoms.

Freed et al. (2021), NIH PMC: Interpretive study on domestic violence providers' views, highlighting TFS's role in eroding cognitive resilience and fostering dependency.

Dragiewicz et al. (2023), British Journal of Social Work: Discusses tech co-opted for abuse, recommending trauma-informed differentials to distinguish hypervigilance from psychosis.

Henry et al. (2023), Journal of Interpersonal Violence: Explores TFS subtypes, noting psychological impacts like dissociation and identity erosion.

Messing et al. (2023), Violence Against Women: Analyzes communications tech in male-perpetrated abuse, associating it with C-PTSD and spiritual trauma.

Reported Cases of a Similar Nature

UK Smart Home Device Case (2018): First conviction for TFS using a smart speaker to eavesdrop on an ex-partner, resulting in a stalking charge and imprisonment.

US Apple AirTag Stalking (2022): Multiple reports of Bluetooth trackers hidden in vehicles for location monitoring; one Florida case led to arrests under state stalking laws.

Australian Domestic Violence Surge (2020-2023): Refuge reported 700% increase in TFS helpline calls, including spyware in intimate partner abuse.

US Undergraduate Stats (2022): 41% experienced TFS, often via social media monitoring, per Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC).

Global AI-Fueled Cases (2025): UN reports escalation in digital abuse against women, with 1.8 billion affected by anonymity-enabled stalking via AI tools.

Practical Resources for Victims and Survivors

Below is a concise list of key resources for support in cases of coercive manipulation, digital exploitation, and related abuses. Prioritize safety: use secure devices or incognito mode when accessing.

Hotlines (24/7 Support)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): Call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. thehotline.org – For coercive control and tech abuse.

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): Call 1-800-656-4673. rainn.org – For sexual/identity coercion.

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (US/Canada). Global options available.

Digital Safety and Tech Abuse

NNEDV TechSafety: Toolkits for spyware detection and device security. techsafety.org.

Clinic to End Tech Abuse (CETA): Free device scans and privacy help. clinictoendtechabuse.org.

Stalking Resource Center: Evidence collection and laws. Call 1-855-484-2846. victimsofcrime.org/stalking-resource-center.

EFF Surveillance Self-Defense: Security tutorials. ssd.eff.org.

Mental Health and Trauma

NAMI Helpline: Call 1-800-950-6264. nami.org – Therapist search for C-PTSD/agoraphobia.

SAMHSA Helpline: Call 1-800-662-4357. samhsa.gov – For substance coercion.

Psychology Today: Trauma therapist directory. psychologytoday.com.

Legal and Advocacy

Victim Connect: Legal/financial referrals. Call 1-855-484-2846. victimconnect.org.

WomensLaw.org: State laws on orders/tech abuse. womenslaw.org.

Legal Aid: Search local via americanbar.org.

Identity and Spiritual Abuse

Recovering from Religion: Call 1-844-368-2848. recoveringfromreligion.org – For religious trauma.

The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+): Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678. thetrevorproject.org.

FaithTrust Institute: Faith-based abuse support. faithtrustinstitute.org.

Quick Safety Tips

Document evidence securely (e.g., DocuSAFE app).

Secure devices: Change passwords, enable 2FA, scan with Malwarebytes.

If in danger, call 911 or local emergency services.

Many resources offer multilingual/disability support. 

Recovery starts with one step—reach out confidentially.